A Day of Birth

It's my birthday. I just woke up to a 'it's your birthday.' I felt funny hearing it. I go to the living room, turn the TV on, pick the new episode of Mad Men I PVR-ed from the night before, and get my laptop out. I've not done a whole lot of writing recently due to my infatuation with the tablet I recently purchased.

Tablets are great for seeing things but not so great for contributing things. Last night I said I'd give it to someone. Someone who was always better as seeing than doing. I never was good at it. I was only good at doing. I got this truth about my nature early on in life. And I've owned it since. I was always good at detaching. My folks could never understand how I'd get so easily bored with things I always seemed to want so much. My answer was always the same. The reason was simply because I got to get them. I meant, I understood what their function was, made use of them, and then recycled them with the same ease one recycles bottles. This is why I always had a hard time relating to those who were into the collecting of things.

So, this morning, before I head to work I think I'll mail the tablet to someone who's a better fit to own it. So, on my birthday I'll give something of mine away. Feels about right. This is what I love about technology. It seems to have something for every personality type. But back to the topic sentence.

I usually am more aware of my day of birth because I get asked ad nauseam what I want for it. The same thing happened this year as it happens every year but, this time around, for some odd reason I paid no attention to the birthday-related chatter.

First, it was the 3-day visit from one of the most important people in my life. It was a good three days. We did things that made me remember what it is that I usually need to do and be in order to be content. It's rather amazing how easy it is to forget that which is fundamentally true about one's self. And then the visit was over and it was time to face the music of quotidianity, and I was fine with it. I was bought flowers which I promised I'd continue to water. But then my nature kicked in. I got distracted. I forgot to water them as I had promised and today I'll have to throw them out. But I'm ok with it. I am true to my nature. I took pleasure out of viewing them for a few days and now I can let them go.

Two times during the year I do one specific thing and it's the same every year. I take stock of life, usually while sipping some caramel macchiato, and then I always move on to something new, usually a new album I want to listen to. You see, what's great about a May birth is that there's always new music to check out. I take time to take stock of life twice a year. I do so on New Year's Eve and on May 28-th. I think of where the year has taken me, what decisions I have made that have led me to the results of the day, how things would be if I'd taken other routes, and more importantly, what routes I feel I should take the next year. And usually there is detachment. Not this time around, however. There is attachment this time around which is why I react to the day differently than in years past.

This year went by faster than I'm accustomed to. And I and it always go fast. This year, however, I learned things about myself I never learned before. I am a fan of cyclical learning. I am a fan of it because it cements fundamental truths about life and existence that we need in order to be fine. We cannot learn life lessons by only being exposed to them once. We need repetition. Because we are, at the core, nothing more than children. What's made this year unique in my own existence, however, is that I experienced things I have never experienced before. And, as much as I'm drawn to novelty, I've been missing that which, by nature, I'm inclined to: history.

So, how can one process experience if it happens outside of a cycle of regularity? One can only do so one way: one has to face it, really get to know it, and then decide if one wants to keep it in the bank of experience or withdraw it quickly and forget it the way you forget an insignificant purchase that puts an initial dent in your account but then for some reason becomes forgettable and you can give it away with ease. Like my tablet.

One of the leaders of the company I work for asked me why I specialized in what I did in academia. I said I was drawn to it and, as a result, I let myself be taken there. I said, "I'm into history. And it turned out I was good at writing about it. And talking about it. And then I became a doctor of said things." I was happy with the explanation. I felt it made more sense than reciting some multisyllabic words than really say little of consequence.

The Sounds of Aronofsky

Tip of the hat to Aronofsky for never having a film that didn't stimulate my mind. And eyes.

"Be Scrupulously Truthful..."

Bertrand Russell once pointed out, "Be scrupulously truthful, even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it." 


I've always had a hard time with Russell's work even though I was trained in the philosophy of language and his work was included in most of the syllabi and curricula I explored. It wasn't till after my title that I realized why Russell never rubbed off on me. I naturally and intellectually respond to aesthetics, philosophically and ontologically. Ergo, it stands to reason that I'd lack a measure of attraction to him. Of all the areas of knowledge, he was intent on leaving one particular pursuit out: aesthetics. 
Russell had a knack for concise speech, however, and some of his observations on human nature are inspiring. I'll list a few below and you can judge for yourselves. They might even inspire you to read more of his work. Or not. Maybe they'll inspire you to self-examine with more gusto and bravery. 

Truth. It's hard, this. It's hard because it rarely is purely quantifiable. Often it resides in the realm of circumstance, accidental caprice, and personal validation. Different people measure experience differently. Truth is inconvenient when it threatens to expose self-interest and damage/harm of the other. Truth, however, should not predicate itself on scruples for if it did, it becomes conditioned on them. I am certain Russell would object to this. I was attracted to his work enough to know this much about it. The more truth is concealed, the more diseased the discourse it gives birth to. Any philosopher would be repulsed by this outcome. Granted, the context Russell had in mind might have had more to do with the pernicious nature of certain religious rhetoric but be that as it may, truth, measurable truth, has to be free of personal gain. It should answer to nothing and no one. 
In sum, here are a few of Russell's observations on an array of thing. Enjoy!


1) Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.
2) Do not think it worth while to proceed by concealing evidence, for the evidence is sure to come to light.
3) Never try to discourage thinking for you are sure to succeed.
4) Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always contrary authorities to be found.
5) Do not use power to suppress opinions you think pernicious, for if you do the opinions will suppress you.
6) Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
7) Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent that in passive agreement, for, if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter.
8) Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool’s paradise, for only a fool will think that it is happiness.

For Pete's Sake

I liked seeing Lane bruise Pete's ego a bit on the last episode of Mad Men. Other than that, the episode dragged. This season, as a matter of fact, is not to my liking but that's beside the immediate point at hand.

What I liked even more about this scene is Don and Sterling's desire to see them fight in the work place.

Pete is spiraling down this season. His spiraling, however, is covered by a cloud of success and his colleagues don't seem to see it as all they're observing at face level is the sweet smell of success that his work is providing. However, Beethoven's music in the background and his obsession with artillery and belligerence might just be a foreshadowing of things to come.

In the meantime, Lane: 1 - Pete: 0.