A Note on Public Behaviors and Decorum

I suppose it's fair to say that most of us have examples of "open mouth, insert foot" episodes. It's part of being human and not always controlling our respective linguistic output. However, there's a difference between calling out, in jest of course, someone at your Thanksgiving table as opposed to yelling at a public figure when millions of people all over get to experience you in all of your unencumbered verbal glory. That has got to be as a good a reason as any to go into therapy. Or anger management. Whichever is easier to get into. If I had a dime for every time I've heard people say 'where have manners gone?!', I'd probably have an unlimited supply of Starbucks.

I've been thinking about public outbursts of bad linguistic behavior lately and this past week was, alas, fecund when it comes to illustrating this very point. Let me start with last Wednesday night when President Obama delivered his health care speech at a shared session of Congress. When the president was still mid-paragraph, Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina interjected: 'you lie!' The incident may be viewed here.
I felt embarrassed. For everyone involved. I don't know if Rep. Wilson has Tourette's or if he has general impulse control issues. I really don't know nor am I interested in exploring the question. This is an example of total disregard for place and decorum and with a public job comes an obvious sense of responsibility.

Naturally, it is hard at times to keep one's self from reacting somehow when hearing things one might find controversial, difficult to accept, comical, and so forth. I am still reminded of an episode back in grade school when the teacher was scolding the class as a collective and I had this unctrollable urge to laugh outloud. If I knew back then was anyerisms were, I would have thought I was about to give myself one. But still, I knew I had to do all in my power to hide the laughter and appear serious if only to avoid unpleasant consequences. Consequences, I could understand. Maybe Rep. Joe Wilson didn't have a strict education growing up. Or maybe he skipped dinner and as a result his blood sugar was out of whack. Maybe. Be that as it may, when the representative of the highest office in the land speaks, it sort of makes general sense that you listen even though the content might not necessarily align with your own views.
Ouch, very ouch.

Enter episode two from Saturday night when Serena Williams was playing against Kim Clijsters at the US Open semifinals.

On match point, Serena Williams was penalized a point for unsportsmanlike conduct. Protesting the line judge's call, she went over, shouting and cursing, pointing at the judge all the while thrusting the ball toward her.
Some of what Serena said was: "If I could, I would take this ... ball and shove it down your ... throat." Hmm.
Now, Serena was obviously under a lot of pressure and the call was not correct. It happens. Unfair treatment happens but it's probably not a good idea to get into a battle. And again, there are cameras out there, folks.
However, I do have to say something here about gender.
Back in the day when John McEnroe used to throw tantrums, most people would be understanding and John would usually get a 'oh, he's a boy being a boy.' Still, Serena was fined $10.000 among other things so she is facing the consequences of her behavior.



Episode Three: The Video Music Awards

I did not watch the Video Music Awards last night mostly because I privileged the season finale of Hung over on HBO and also because the majority of musicians who are featured on the VMA's don't play an active role in my playlists, ergo, there wouldn't have been much of novelty and therefore interest for me to consider it. The only act I was interested in seeing was Muse and that, thanks to YouTube, I got to experience this morning.

When I woke up this morning I noticed that Mika Brzezinski of MSNBC's Morning Joe was talking about Kanye West stealing the thunder from Taylor Swift and radically embarrassing himself on the VMA's. You may consider this particular incident as yet another sabbatical from decorum here. Very ouch.



People say that Kanye is a genius and therefore all the temper tantrums are somehow forgivable. No, not quite. Another petpeeve of mine is how easily we throw the word 'genius' around. I don't know why Kanye is a genius. I don't know if we should believe such a title because, well, he tells us so. Be that as it may, genius should not preclude the need for manners and decorum for without them how can we maintain order and civility? In all candor, I have found myself in public spaces where they play "Stronger" or "Jesus Walks." My first impulse reaction is to say, "Oh, please, play something else. Please!!" But I don't say so outloud because, obviously, a lot of people like Kanye's music. Respect needs to be conferred irrespective of who gets it. I'd rather hip and hop to T.I., but de gustibus non est discutandum.

In sum, maybe a bit of anger management and a visitation of the lessons learned in kindergarten, would do these folks some good.

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Taylor Swift?! Uh-huh!

Today I rocked to country.
Yes. I did.

I rocked to country music.

The reason I say this twice is because, well, for lack of a better phrase, I don't do country. I don't know why. I just can't. I am not attracted to it. I never was. While I'm sure that country music feeds many people, it doesn't manage to feed me in any way. Not even with carbs. It's a preference issue, you see. For example, I love Verdi, Wagner, Beethoven, and Mozart but I don't care for Schumann. I love Indie rock but basically everything about Grunge bothers me. And, yes, Nirvana is an exception. Kurt Cobain is bigger than any genre. And I loved him. Very much. I still do. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" continues to be a high-frequency track. It's not grunge, it's classic. So there are exceptions within certain genres, of course.

Now back to my country encounter today. I rocked out to Taylor Swift's "Love Story."
At the end of the tenth lap at the pool, I thought I would take a 60-second break and change up the routine. I remove the items that guarantee my isolation from the surroundings and I suddenly hear this uber-loud song blasting from the loudspeakers.
I gave out a 'huh?' Hmm. The pool is sounding like a Bavarian disco? How about that!

After my 60-second break at the pool, I found myself rocking to the song the loudspeakers were feeding my already-filled-with-water ears. At the end of the mini-break, I found myself singing along with Taylor: "Romeo, save me... My daddy said "stay away from Juliet" Marry me, Juliet... Baby just say 'yes.''

I remember letting out a 'HA!' and then put my cap and goggles back on and got to the second half of the work-out. I couldn't get Swift's words out of my head. I then tried to switch to Verdi. Verdi always bails me out. I tried Nabucco but words like 'Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, you can be the prince, I can be the princess' kept creeping in. I had another 20 minutes left in my routine, so I was stuck. My iPod and Keane were calling me but I resisted. Instead, I gave in and sang in my head, ''And I said, Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone."

At the end of the workout, I get to my iPod and listen to Keane's Perfect Symmetry. Keane, de-Swift me swiftly, please. It didn't work.
I turn to Verdi. Nichts!

Now, I support the arts. And I most actively support music. For without music I wouldn't be who I am. But I am very, very specific about what I like. And country is not it. We're all entitled to having our favorites and Indie is what I choose. Indie is what I have chosen for years now. And this week has been a very good week for me. I got Franz Ferdinand's new album, Lily Allen's new stuff, and The Annie Lennox Collection. And it's not even Friday yet. So, what's this country business about?

And I know exactly what my annoyance consists of. Taylor Swift's little, puerile track is a distraction. Much like Lifehouse was a few years ago when their music kept me from more relevant artists like the Magnetic Fields or Morrissey. And this is supposed to be Verdi's time. This is Verdi's month. So, Taylor, I'm sure you have plenty of other fans out there. I am not hiring. I never was. My love is already spoken for. And it's good. It's very, very good.