Ok, the other day I saw Toby Keith on the Colbert Report.
Those who know me, are aware of my penchant for Stephen Colbert's rhetoric since I very much seem to communicate in a similar fashion with many, many people in my life. Colbert's discursive choices very much mirror my own, hence, out of basically narcissistic reasons [why, call it something else?], I dig most about him.
Colbert had Toby Keith on his show and I got a kick out of Keith's speech which actually was not the way I used to think it would be. Keith was quite funny, employed double entendres, and seemed genuine. Afterwards, Keith performed a song called "High Maintenance Woman" which made me laugh so hard I almost fell off my couch. But I didn't. Fall, that is.
Instead, I got on iTunes and got said song, played it once and then realized that there is absolutely nothing in my music sensitivities that allows for a fair appreciation of country music. I am disinclined to enjoy it because I just do not get it. Nothing in my DNA and overall makeup is conducive to a fair appreciation of country music. Nada!
And I told my friend, let's call her "Terry", that I was listening to Toby Keith and "Terry" informed me that she was completely disgusted and that she "won't tell because [she] does not try to think about him ever, and thinking about [me] listening to him goes against all of that." And then she ended the email saying "You lose about 5000 cool points."
Ha. Double ha. Leave it to "Terry" to make me laugh that hard but who could blame her? My brain is glam punk-infested and I leave no room in it for such 'disturbances of creation' as country music. But perhaps, I have been too set in my own ways and in an effort to give all artists out there a chance, I managed to commit musical blasphemy and in the process lost about 5000 cool points. Now, is it biology or the environment that is impacting my musical tendencies? Or is it both? I guess I was born this way. Not into country music, that is. I need to go back to my roots and reclaim my coolness now before I lose all the cool points in Terry's eyes.
Warped tour, here I come!