Tip of the hat to Chris for the pointer. He and I have such a great time together playing with language. I thought I'd share with you all what he just sent my way.
Enjoy. And as a medievalist, my very favorite would have to be number one.
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Yoga, Moksha, H2O
A few years ago I got into yoga.
This is about as far away from my hyperactive nature as it gets.
For someone who lives the motto agito ergo sum, yoga is a bit of a stretch. But, I thought it was time to conquer it.
Right.
Such a thing to say for a hyperactive.
A lot of the people in my circle were practicing it so in an effort to put an end to their solicitations, I gave in.
The first time I went to class I remember having this strong urge to look at my watch, check my text messages, and be on my computer which is basically as far away from a yoga frame of mind as it gets. Then, towards the end of class I remember wishing to be there a little longer. I can sort out my daily problems better lying on the mat here. Hmm.
Naturally, I went back.
We were doing yoga daily, or nightly, I should say. Incidentally, those of you who have trouble sleeping, might consider taking up yoga and more importantly, practicing it night.
Then, I switched to another workout routine after I found myself in a new setting. I thought I'd give massages and yoga classes a rest as I was sure not to find another Heather or Scott, (respectively, my masseusse and yoga teacher) in my new setting. I'm a loyal type of gal, I suppose. Or 'loyalty by convenience' as the person calls it.
The new workout regimen now consisted of what seemed to be more congruent with my nature: fast cardio, in other words. The routine consists of weight-lifting, swimming, and biking.
The body has been asking for a change, however. Ergo, in an effort to acquiesce its request, I took up yoga again. This time around I switched it up a bit, however.
I went for Moksha.
Well, I tried, at least.
The Moksha class takes place in a very hot setting. Moksha means "to release." It's the liberation from samsara, the cycle of death and rebirth or reincarnation and the sum of the suffering and limitation of existence. That's a paraphrasing of what it means, anyway.
I don't think I've perspired that much since the day I challenged a friend of mine to a match of tennis thinking that I could beat him simply because I was sure to have a stronger work ethic and more will power. I didn't win. But I did get a great work-out and yet another lesson in humility.
But I digress.
So, I find myself in a Moksha class. Here I am in a different setting, different city, different country, perspiring like it's nobody's business. After completing the warrior pose I realize I had forgotten to bring my water. And the class was 75 minutes. 75 minutes of heat intensity.
Towards minute 60, I start getting light-headed and I thought I better relent and find a way to water. Fast. The teacher brought me some and all was fine and dandy, of course, and in a minute I was back in a downward facing dog position again.
"I dig this," I thought. Cool, it's challenging. Now, I'm not sure if a reaction of this kind is what yogis generally have in mind. It was how I reacted at least.
Now, my usual workouts are not a walk in the park. I like to push. This class, however, takes the prize as the heaviest workout I've had in recent years. The body was much more challenged in the space of a little mat where movement is limited than it ever is at the weight room or the pool.
So, I give Moksha yoga classes my thumbs up. Don't forget to bring water and light outfits. I was told that I'm much more mellow after it. And I'll take mellow. Well, not every day but with some regularity, yes. For sure.
And, by the way, that's not me in the picture.
I still have short hair.
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